Would paying for sex be wrong?

[RedPillOverdose]

Should I ever encounter a man without a girlfriend/wife who tells me that the reason why he's single is because he cannot get the girls he wants but he also doesn't want the girls he could get, I would clap him on his shoulders for being that honest, confident, and respectful. As long as he's working towards his goals I would find that attitude admirable.

In my opinion, unless a man wants to have a child (hopefully at the age of 30+), he has no business spending his precious time, energy, and money with a woman he doesn't find attractive.

The most valuable advice I could give a younger version of myself (say at 18y) would be to work on your career (money) and looks (do the best you can; definitely doable for most guys), become more social (find opportunity to spend some time with people, but don't lose focus; becoming easy with people is one of the most useful skills you can acquire), and finally, just take the damn pain (if you play it right, that 18-28y period will be the worst period in your life, so fail often, learn, and struggle through).

Don't consider to have a serious relationship (something you're willing to invest into) until you're mid 30 or so.

There are plenty of couples who met each other in their teens and 20s and they worked out just fine.

[locutus24]

Should I ever encounter a man without a girlfriend/wife who tells me that the reason why he's single is because he cannot get the girls he wants but he also doesn't want the girls he could get, I would clap him on his shoulders for being that honest, confident, and respectful. As long as he's working towards his goals I would find that attitude admirable.

In my opinion, unless a man wants to have a child (hopefully at the age of 30+), he has no business spending his precious time, energy, and money with a woman he doesn't find attractive.

The most valuable advice I could give a younger version of myself (say at 18y) would be to work on your career (money) and looks (do the best you can; definitely doable for most guys), become more social (find opportunity to spend some time with people, but don't lose focus; becoming easy with people is one of the most useful skills you can acquire), and finally, just take the damn pain (if you play it right, that 18-28y period will be the worst period in your life, so fail often, learn, and struggle through).

Don't consider to have a serious relationship (something you're willing to invest into) until you're mid 30 or so.

Good way of seeing things. There are ugly men who will try to score higher attractive women. I don't know the success rate overall, but it's possible though less likely than a guy whose better in looks. 

How are women in their mid 30s in a relationship? Are they generally more mature and less bitchy?

[Hans]

How are women in their mid 30s in a relationship? Are they generally more mature and less bitchy?

No, they aren't. But you as a man hopefully have your shit (career, money, confidence, toughness, ...) together then after having been beaten heavily for a decade by our modern world.

[Plato]

I am too poor and live in bad area and have mental disorder it over me Some people just lucky in love.

[locutus24]

No, they aren't. But you as a man hopefully have your shit (career, money, confidence, toughness, ...) together then after having been beaten heavily for a decade by our modern world.

Job in finance, pay off loans, get own home without paying rent, and continue BB. Other things too. Confidence? Fake it till I make it.

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Job in finance, pay off loans, get own home without paying rent, and continue BB. Other things too. Confidence? Fake it till I make it.

May not go for GF. You know my misogyny. With high paying job it's easier to just pay for sex or buy a mail bride to control.

[locutus24]

Fake it till you make it sounds catchy. Unfortunately real confidence is not so easily faked. Otherwise it would not be a quality so sought after and admired.

Think of a diamond. The reason they are valuable is because of the way they are formed, the length of time it takes to form them and the rarity of them. If they could easily be faked without any noticable difference between a fake and the real thing, nobody would purchase the real thing. But they can't be faked to a trained eye which is why real diamonds are still highly valuable and sold as such.

Dude, who cares man! Fake or real confidence. I don't care for diamonds I go for platinum man! Don't matter much! Many men and women are good at seeming confident to you and me, but in reality they ain't. We can't see it, but it's there.

[Hans]

Job in finance, pay off loans, get own home without paying rent, and continue BB. Other things too. Confidence? Fake it till I make it.

Brett is right here. It's hard to fake confidence because there is a difference between your inner and your outer side. That difference easily breaks if challenged at which point you may look pathetic.

So obviously, you should try to raise the inner side ("is") to match your desired outer side ("should"). Now, I could tell you to build up something (a skill, a good education, an appreciated job, starting a family (chicken-egg problem, I know), ...) to achieve that goal and those things definitely work (aging does too). But they are like the training wheels on your first bike hiding (yet) your inability to ride the bike alone.

What lack of confidence in a person really means, is that a person feels flawed, unworthy, and unloved due to personal and/or social conditioning. Those are the issues one should address. Most importantly, it's about you accepting yourself as you are and you not taking bullshit from other people anymore. That alone will not do the trick but your mindset should evolve around this kind of thinking.

[Plato]

Hey Nattyornot said something to me which help me for my confidence: do something you scared of then even if you fail you confident will I’m prove . Also get our self some good loyal friends if you can. there comments and love for you will help our value.  Also I have lot body issues so treat ourself well then Mabey you like our self in mirror. I actually think when I get older I am going to get worse. I kind like how I look I actually think I am cute . I don’t think I am super attractive but think I am good enough . Most people lazy and fat . I could dress better through .

[Hans]

May not go for GF. You know my misogyny. With high paying job it's easier to just pay for sex or buy a mail bride to control.

Seems what you need is not confidence but a good lawyer ...

[locutus24]

Brett is right here. It's hard to fake confidence because there is a difference between your inner and your outer side. That difference easily breaks if challenged at which point you may look pathetic.

So obviously, you should try to raise the inner side ("is") to match your desired outer side ("should"). Now, I could tell you to build up something (a skill, a good education, an appreciated job, starting a family (chicken-egg problem, I know), ...) to achieve that goal and those things definitely work (aging does too). But they are like the training wheels on your first bike hiding (yet) your inability to ride the bike alone.

What lack of confidence in a person really means, is that a person feels flawed, unworthy, and unloved due to personal and/or social conditioning. Those are the issues one should address. Most importantly, it's about you accepting yourself as you are and you not taking bullshit from other people anymore. That alone will not do the trick but your mindset should evolve around this kind of thinking.

Yeah it's hard. It's the best I can do for now. Inside I feel many flaws about myself which I try to hide as best I can. I have been defeated sometimes when faking. I admit that. It sucked and came home angry and even sobbed a little. 

It is like a chicken-egg problem. Skills are easier to develop than inner confidence. I think I experience confidence once in a while. 

It's hard to say on whether a person is unworthy or flawed. I think I am flawed and might be unworthy to many people, though hopefully not all. 

One thing I don't do is accept myself for how I am. I literally hate certain aspects of me and will do whatever is necessary to destroy those parts I hate about myself.  

There is no end to me finding ways to better myself. I had a rageful thought on "burning the old me away" and replacing the old with a newer and better human. That might be what prevents me from achieving more consistent confidence. And maybe love or whatever the hell love means. I honestly don't know what that is.