What Women Really Mean When They Say: "I am just finding myself."

[khrazz]

The statement "I am just finding myself." often finds itself in the mouth of a woman rationalizing things. 

Women use it as a way to explain their actions and soften the impact. 

Translated, the term says the following:

"I have so many options that I don't know what to choose. I am brainwashed to believe that I deserve the best and only the best. I don't know why. I just do. I will do whatever I want. If a form of responsibility or a difficulty comes, I will just try to find myself at another place, hopefully an easier one."

In short, finding myself means playing around without doing anything serious. The process also comes with a good form of pleasure seeking and of course - traveling - women's favorite hobby. 

Before you know it, she hits the late 20s or maybe even early 30s. She is single...maybe she has a dog. Guess, what? She still hasn't found herself. What is she looking for? What does it really mean to find yourself? That's a story for another post. 

What does she do? She fires up a dating app like Tinder and starts looking for herself there.

I met a woman like that. She had turned 30 a few months ago. She had just quit her tedious job. She was also fresh out of a 3-year relationship including cohabitation with a man.

How do I know all of that?

I had a Tinder date with her. She slipped during the conversation and basically told me that she has had sex with two different men in the span of 10-14 days (both from Tinder).

"I have no regrets," she added.

Eventually, I asked her - "what are you plans for the future?" It was a logical question since she seemed at a crossroad - no job, new decade in her life, single...etc. She said - "I need to find myself."

This happened almost 2 years ago. I bet she is still looking.

If she dumps you to "find herself" that means as you correctly said that she is looking for her options. My advice would be to do the same, and not wait for her to return to you. Chances are, if she indeed does return, especially if the break up is sudden, that her other option(s) didnt work out and you are the bottom feeder until she recovers her self esteem and go on a "finding myself" adventure again.


People who say "i need to find myself" usually never truly find themselves. They are just projecting their wish to become something better, not the action . Which is why she is most likely still looking as you said.

People hardly ever blame themselves for their current state of life (if its bad ofc). Its really easy to blame others for your misfortune (my ex was an ass/bitch, my friend was stupid, my family is bad etc) . Finding myself is a code word for saying "i am a low value person, i lost people due to this, and now i need to work my way to new relationships which will feed my ego" . You dont find yourself, you create yourself. Just as you create your future (up to a certain point) and never find your future. You cant "find" your future, so if you cant find your future, why and how on earth would you "find" yourself?

Dont fall for such crap. If you are on a dating app and she says she is finding herself, trend carefully . She is most likely a bitch that screwed herself up, she most likely never worked on herself, never did things of value for herself and now that she is single she feels a deep void because she no longer has something to occupy her mind - hence the reason why she "needs to find herself"