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Online dating is making you hateful and miserable
#1
It's been shown to lower peoples' selfesteem and increase neuroticism to hang out on OLD and antisocial media.

The gender distribution is extremely skewed so there isn't enough to go around for you as a man at all - and then on top of that, many of the small amount of women who are online will be single moms, cluster Bs, cashappers and prostitutes, already in relationships, washed up from drinking, smoking and bad choices, free meal seekers (which is the man's own fault for both being stupid and trying to bribe her to sex with money), transvestites, fake profiles, or just follower, validation and entertainment farmers with no intention to meet let alone have sex with you.

And lastly, women almost only swipe right on the top 10% most desirable men - with a minority within that 10% again taking the biggest share.

Online dating and antisocial media is a siren song that lures you in with fantasies of accessible women, but only leads you to hate and misery.

Think the problem is just women being cruel or entitled? think again. The source of the problem is the medium itself. What you have to understand and keep in mind is that online dating is radically different from a real life social environment. It produces different stimuli than real life situations do. When you say "hello" to a woman in real life, you are the only person talking to her in that moment and she can perceive your totality. Imagine instead if every time you said "hello" to a woman in real life, 50 other men were saying "hello" to her at the same time. Do you think the situation would change? do you think the behavior would change? of course it would, because the different stimuli forces it to change. This is exactly what happens on OLD where women face a sensory overload and choice overload. The medium itself causes behavior to change for the worse - online, you can hardly even say "hello" to a woman as an introduction. You add that on to the fact that OLD is a business with an interest in keeping you paying for it, and not a charity - their business model requires that you don't get results so that you will pay and keep paying, but without wisening up to what's going on.

Delete your apps. Stop making yourself more hateful and miserable than you really are when you are standing out there relaxing in the forest or by the sea and your brain is no longer under the haze of the internet. Pretend OLD and antisocial media don't exist, and then ask how you could meet women and what your current lifestyle is doing to put you in proximity to women in ways you enjoy without those things.
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#2
I have been on many dates from straight up offline approaching. While the women were always more attractive than my online dates, they all end up doing the exact same thing to me a.k.a. ghosting, text games...etc.

This year (in May), I met an amazing woman the exact same way. She wasn't amazing of course, but in comparison to the trash I was meeting online she was. We had a wonderful date (probably the best in my entire life), and the interaction was extremely promising. I thought I had done it. I am not kidding.

After the date, she remained responsive and kept saying that she really wants to be with me. Well, we met again - only for her to tell me that she "does not have enough feelings for me."

She is still single and looking for something else.

Otherwise your arguments are correct, of course. But I don't have the energy to continue approaching women in any shape or form. Besides, most of the women that you approach will be on social media anyway. In other words, they are already infected.

Example:

This year I approached some woman. She was very impressed. I think she was honest. She said this had never happened to her before. She gave me her Instagram - she had 1k followers. I immediately knew that none of this will lead anywhere. It didn't. I gained points for doing it offline, but those points were not enough to win her.

In short, you think that the offline approach will save you - but it won't. First, your social circle is limited. Second, approaching is extremely time and soul consuming.

I have also approached women at work. They all ghosted me. One of them was even showing interest in me or at least I thought so.
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#3
(09-10-2019, 05:35 AM)TruthSeeker Wrote: I have been on many dates from straight up offline approaching. While the women were always more attractive than my online dates, they all end up doing the exact same thing to me a.k.a. ghosting, text games...etc.

This year (in May), I met an amazing woman the exact same way. She wasn't amazing of course, but in comparison to the trash I was meeting online she was. We had a wonderful date (probably the best in my entire life), and the interaction was extremely promising. I thought I had done it. I am not kidding.

After the date, she remained responsive and kept saying that she really wants to be with me. Well, we met again - only for her to tell me that she "does not have enough feelings for me."

She is still single and looking for something else.

Otherwise your arguments are correct, of course. But I don't have the energy to continue approaching women in any shape or form. Besides, most of the women that you approach will be on social media anyway. In other words, they are already infected.

Example:

This year I approached some woman. She was very impressed. I think she was honest. She said this had never happened to her before. She gave me her Instagram - she had 1k followers. I immediately knew that none of this will lead anywhere. It didn't. I gained points for doing it offline, but those points were not enough to win her.

In short, you think that the offline approach will save you - but it won't. First, your social circle is limited. Second, approaching is extremely time and soul consuming.

I have also approached women at work. They all ghosted me. One of them was even showing interest in me or at least I thought so.

I agree.... online or not the substance doesn't change. I was trying to seduce a 40 years old woman in the last month ( i have 30 years old and not ugly and she is a good looking woman ). Turns out that she prefers a man who's bald, ugly and fat as hell and isn't even rich. I thought to have seen anything but now i don't know more what to think.
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#4
(09-10-2019, 12:42 PM)simone copetti Wrote: I agree.... online or not the substance doesn't change. I was trying to seduce a 40 years old woman in the last month ( i have 30 years old and not ugly and she is a good looking woman ). Turns out that she prefers a man who's bald, ugly and fat as hell and isn't even rich. I thought to have seen anything but now i don't know more what to think.

Why on earth would you go for a 40-year-old when you are 30 yourself?

Those old women are not worth pursuing. 

Go for 20-27.
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#5
(09-10-2019, 05:35 AM)TruthSeeker Wrote: Text

I don't think an offline approach is a magic rescue, especially without exceptional looks, and your point for example that most women you approach will be on antisocial media anyway alludes to this too aside from your direct examples.

But what I am saying is that using OLD makes a bad situation worse, and that's for a combination of two reasons. First, because the medium itself is both harsher for men and more antisocial in general. Second, because at some point you had the hope that it will give results. When it doesn't, your hope instead turns into jaded bitterness through a drainage of whatever positivity, energy and selfesteem you have left and this is bad for you. Even if you get no results either way, at least if you stop feeding the monster all the time you can live in more peace.

But that is the mirage of OLD: it makes you feel like you could always try some more for seemingly no cost, right?

Personally although I certainly don't get treated like a model or celebrity when I walk around, I have noticed a significant difference between the attention women sometimes show me offline smiling or blushing compared to online. But I have not capitalized on it so far, which is also how I had much less sex in my teens than I should have. The few times I've approached in real life, I've been rejected, but I've only done a few approaches. I've also lived like a loner - I don't have a social circle and don't enjoy drinking, drugs, smoking or what you so astutely called "low IQ music". I will start university soon and see how it goes there.

I want OLD to work as in theory it allows you to find your preference in an efficient manner, but the reality doesn't match that. Is lack of sex and affection going to become an increasing norm for men? Or can there be a better way than zero results and jaded bitterness?
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#6
(09-10-2019, 07:10 PM)Loverboy Wrote: I don't think an offline approach is a magic rescue, especially without exceptional looks, and your point for example that most women you approach will be on antisocial media anyway alludes to this too aside from your direct examples.

But what I am saying is that using OLD makes a bad situation worse, and that's for a combination of two reasons. First, because the medium itself is both harsher for men and more antisocial in general. Second, because at some point you had the hope that it will give results. When it doesn't, your hope instead turns into jaded bitterness through a drainage of whatever positivity, energy and selfesteem you have left and this is bad for you. Even if you get no results either way, at least if you stop feeding the monster all the time you can live in more peace.

But that is the mirage of OLD: it makes you feel like you could always try some more for seemingly no cost, right?

Personally although I certainly don't get treated like a model or celebrity when I walk around, I have noticed a significant difference between the attention women sometimes show me offline smiling or blushing compared to online. But I have not capitalized on it so far, which is also how I had much less sex in my teens than I should have. The few times I've approached in real life, I've been rejected, but I've only done a few approaches. I've also lived like a loner - I don't have a social circle and don't enjoy drinking, drugs, smoking or what you so astutely called "low IQ music". I will start university soon and see how it goes there.

I want OLD to work as in theory it allows you to find your preference in an efficient manner, but the reality doesn't match that. Is lack of sex and affection going to become an increasing norm for men? Or can there be a better way than zero results and jaded bitterness?

Just fuck girls and become sociopathic that the only way it works
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#7
(09-10-2019, 07:31 PM)Plato Wrote: Just fuck girls and become sociopathic that the only way it works

Don't you ever get emotionally attached to the woman you fuck?
I mean in order for sex to be great normally some emotion is needed otherwise its just like going through the motions.

I find its easier said than done, that is - fucking with no emotion. Maybe I am a emotional person or maybe we all are.

But are you telling me that after building a emptional connection with a woman and having sex with her - you find out she is also banging your friend - you telling me you won't feel anything?

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#8
(09-10-2019, 07:50 PM)Brett Wrote: Don't you ever get emotionally attached to the woman you fuck?
I mean in order for sex to be great normally some emotion is needed otherwise its just like going through the motions.

I find its easier said than done, that is - fucking with no emotion. Maybe I am a emotional person or maybe we all are.

But are you telling me that after building a emptional connection with a woman and having sex with her - you find out she is also banging your friend - you telling me you won't feel anything?

I do probably more than most do to my bpd but what am saying, I feel like the nature of women is just sex am tired of feeling something when am with someone,  and getting hurt . Besides weed and drugs help and just having the day to yourself.  I not going to lie am broken now . I probably have turn into bad boy with emotional problems.  Also most my inner circle are from BDSM community everyone kind fuck each other . Basically i just expect sex now rather than love . I still date but meh mabey I develop a ASPD now as well I know its possible to have both .  Basically if I date a women and fuck her inless there serious ground of relationship I dont feel emotion our try not too in that case fuck first love after she pass the test . Because at least you get laid . My friends are very sexual and most them are poly . I got offed for gang bang yesterday. But I declined I class myself as demsexual when it comes to love but really I should put emotionally broken .

I respect myself and protect myself first women come second.  Tbh dom women would be great but meh

Funny last year I was so innocent now am just meh

Also that scenario is little different then just what I said about just fucking.  The goal is when you date is to just have sex first then if she wants serious relationship which Is 90% a no she become your fuck buddy your just don't see her again .and block .
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#9
(09-10-2019, 07:10 PM)Loverboy Wrote: I don't think an offline approach is a magic rescue, especially without exceptional looks, and your point for example that most women you approach will be on antisocial media anyway alludes to this too aside from your direct examples.

But what I am saying is that using OLD makes a bad situation worse, and that's for a combination of two reasons. First, because the medium itself is both harsher for men and more antisocial in general. Second, because at some point you had the hope that it will give results. When it doesn't, your hope instead turns into jaded bitterness through a drainage of whatever positivity, energy and selfesteem you have left and this is bad for you. Even if you get no results either way, at least if you stop feeding the monster all the time you can live in more peace.

But that is the mirage of OLD: it makes you feel like you could always try some more for seemingly no cost, right?

Personally although I certainly don't get treated like a model or celebrity when I walk around, I have noticed a significant difference between the attention women sometimes show me offline smiling or blushing compared to online. But I have not capitalized on it so far, which is also how I had much less sex in my teens than I should have. The few times I've approached in real life, I've been rejected, but I've only done a few approaches. I've also lived like a loner - I don't have a social circle and don't enjoy drinking, drugs, smoking or what you so astutely called "low IQ music". I will start university soon and see how it goes there.

I want OLD to work as in theory it allows you to find your preference in an efficient manner, but the reality doesn't match that. Is lack of sex and affection going to become an increasing norm for men? Or can there be a better way than zero results and jaded bitterness?

It's all true, but here's the deal - women are women regardless of where you meet them. I am not a guy who has done only online dating. I have done the offline version too. Most of my conclusions come from my own life and effort. When I come up with something, it's because I have lived it.

Women play games regardless of where you happen to cross paths.

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A note on validation

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You were talking about receiving attention from women on the street. Cool. I have received looks too. But here's the deal that many inexperienced guys don't know - those looks mean nothing.

I have approached women showing interest or what I perceive as such only to get rejected.

Why? Because women want to get validated on the street but not necessarily approached.

Here's a common scenario: A married woman dresses in a provocative way to work - skirts, heels...etc. Why? Seriously. Why?

Because she aspires to receive the validation of every guy (or close to it) that she will meet during her commute. The hotter the guy, the better. However, she does not want them to actually approach her. She will look at them, maybe even blush, and yet shut down any initiative coming her way. This will repeat every day because she needs the attention.

Trust me. In the end, those looks and smirks or whatever don't mean anything. To a large extent, they are a trap. She's fishing for validation.

Many women have done this to me - they want to extract your desire and feed their ego with it. I never trust a woman's words. In fact, I would go as far as saying that I interpret them in reverse.
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#10
(09-10-2019, 09:36 PM)TruthSeeker Wrote: It's all true, but here's the deal - women are women regardless of where you meet them. I am not a guy who has done only online dating. I have done the offline version too. Most of my conclusion come from own life and effort. When I come up with something, it's because I have lived it.

Women play games regardless of where you happen to cross paths.

--------------------------
A note on validation

-------------------------

You were talking about receiving attention from women on the street. Cool. I have received looks too. But here's the deal that many inexperienced guys don't know - those looks mean nothing.

I have approached women showing interest or what I perceive as such  only to get rejected.

Why? Because women want to get validated on the street but not necessarily approached.

Here's a common scenario: A married woman dresses in a provocative way to work - skirts, heels...etc. Why? Seriously. Why?

Because she aspires to receive the validation of every guy (or close to it) that she will meet during her commute. The hotter the guy, the better. However, she does not want them to actually approach her. She will look at them, maybe even blush, and yet shut down any initiative coming her way. This will repeat every day because she needs the attention.

Trust me. In the end, those looks and smirks or whatever don't mean anything. To a large extent, they are a trap. She's fishing for validation.

Many women have done this to me - they want to extract your desire and feed their ego with it. I never trust a woman's words. In fact, I would go as far as saying that I interpret them in reverse.

Sure - but then how are the women finding guys to meet their needs and who are those guys? they're not doing it online, they're not doing it on the street, and I presume you'd give a similar account of clubs. Work environments may be segregated by gender. And clearly, school is not working for everyone or there wouldn't be such a consistent surplus and abundance of men in all the other places. So where and who are they actually meeting?
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