(09-20-2019, 09:47 AM)TruthSeeker Wrote: Modern dating is the cancer that this generation has to fight.
It used to be a lot easier back in the day. There wasn't as much competition.
Social media, smartphones and feminism - collectively killed women and turned them into sad, lonely creatures.
Women are not happy regardless of what they say.
Part 1
I remembered this bolded line while I've been with a girl I reconnected with over the past week.
She has had countless more sex with a number of people that most presumably dwarfs mine, while I have basically not had a sex life except for a couple of brief spots years ago - of which she was the major component. And yet, it was clear that she was more miserable than me. Every time she dipped her toes into talking about her past or her mental health, I thought of this line from you. I felt and still do feel a sense of pity for her, because her misery does not make me happy. She could have all the casual sex she wanted as the modern ideal goes, and yet it had if anything only made her more miserable. What I speculate might once have been feelings of excitement and maybe even empowerment have now become feelings of weariness, being used and taken for granted both in and out of bed, and with nothing lastingly created except both the memories of bad experiences (I presume her own infidelity is also included here) and a disillusion with the kinds of men she's had sex with and the sex she's had with them. Men who were probably once exciting to her because she experienced them as cocky and confident when they said "of course" or "I know" to a compliment she gave them, she now merely experiences as smug and conceited (which is actually my explication of what she herself said).
I talked to her generally about the negatives of a culture that promotes treating other humans casually, as expendable props of humans' dopamine hits and egotism (as you write and depict in A Desert In The Sky, which I must re-read... that book is a fount of strength that you have shared with us). But I didn't have the fortitude to tell her more brutal, specific lessons about her own and other womens' naive behavior that ends up hurting themselves personally and collectively, as I don't want to exacerbate her decades-long depression that she already hints at. She seems to have accepted her situation anyway.
Part 2
We also came across a guy, "the celsius guy" (because he works with the celsius drink) who lives in the next gate from her. She says he has a new girl over every day, and indeed the day we saw him he had a girl with him. Today as I was standing on her balcony in the afternoon, all of a sudden I see a girl far away to my left walking near here... and the closer she gets, the more she looks like that girl who we saw celsius guy bring over the other day, the first time I saw him. I turn to look and celsius guy has appeared to swagger over here too from my right side, swinging his keys and looking like he couldn't be more relaxed and sure of himself. They meet and enter his gate. I walk back in and ask the girl I'm with something like, "you said celsius guy has a new girl over all the time but I just saw him with the same girl as before!", and with the same weary tone she always mentions him in, she said he sometimes has the same girls over.
I would like to know more about that guy, and his girls too. What does his life look and feel like? What are his inner thoughts? What is it that gives him the power with women that I don't have? I am hooked on finding out more about him in these senses.