02-12-2019, 03:15 AM
(12-08-2018, 05:18 PM)locutus24 Wrote: I'm going to be blunt. I despise women and tend to get very rageful when around them. Just the sound of their voices like the "Californian blonde chick" accent can make me a raging animal inside my head.
I have to go this unfortunate date/mingling event tonight and only doing it to get practice with talking to some new women at a place I've never been. However, I'm already getting paranoid and angry. Anticipating all the terrible things that can happen with women. Oh, and for context this is in NYC, a place where women have the highest standards ever and where competition is really fierce. I'm still in last year of undergrad without any prestigious job or social status and am competing against men who have careers in Wall Street so my odds are not in favor for me.
How do you other guys control your anger so as to feel calm and confident "inside"? I haven't found any ways to do it. I can pretend to look calm and confident on the "outside", but it can't hide all the insecurities from women since they are blessed with that sixth sense of detecting men who are unstable, no matter what the men do to hide it.
I always worry I will get arrested one day when I get pissed by a woman who says or makes some gesture to disrespect me as a man. My therapist just teaches me meditation techniques and they only work maybe 25% of the time. I sometimes resort to calming drugs but then I get all spaced out at the bars/clubs and end up zombiefied in the corner on a couch somewhere.
Dating sucks as all posters on here seem to realize.
I feel for you. I lived for 37 of my near 40 years of life in the dungeon known as NYC! I didn't live in Manhattan; I lived in one of the "outer boroughs" and worked there despite my move to the Island until a few months ago. Now I work and live out east. It took me over a year to mentally heal from the iron dungeon.
I empathize with any sane person with normal desires that are not being met while living where you do, especially an intelligent college student like yourself.
I've enjoyed some of our conversation so far in another thread. I did a lot of dating in the dungeon til I met my wife.
This is going to sound overly simplistic, but I believe if--there are no guarantees--and once you find a normal woman with normal desires (which is goddamn hard to do in NYC), you will see how much of your rage dissipates.
As stated elsewhere on this forum, I went though an incel phase. However, my incelism was mostly caused by depression which caused me to second guess myself, and in turn screw up opportunities with women who actually liked me! Once I got rid of that depression, I attracted enough women and went on many dates. But much of that was unpleasant because as you know, many women in NYC are married to a job, have ridiculous expectations, personality disorders, drug and alcohol problems, and are just damaged in some way or another!
As per my therapist's advice, and meeting woman after woman who boasted of "crazy weeks" and "my crazy life"--you know, woman that are lawyers, doctors, executives, and married to jobs--I stopped bothering with such women, and narrowed my opportunities to women in caregiving or so-called "pink collar" positions, such as teaching, hairstyling, secretarial work, social work, or, dare I say, positions that don't warrant such damn ambition, like standing around in a retail store (not kidding).
I think many men make matters worse for themselves because they feel they must conquer or sway women with ridiculous standards and high-driving positions, as if something is wrong with them if they can't.
Out where I live I see many cute, and even pretty young women in the most ordinary positions: retail, buttering bagels, hair styling, secretarial work, and so on. And when I say young, I mean eighteen to 23 years old, which in sane times, were the ages in which women would be scoffed up and be ready to make babies--not an exaggeration (my grandma had my mom at 18). Thanks to the call for women to be careerists, capitalism that calls for the lowering of wages for everyone, social engineering of all sorts, cultural marxism, and the sexual revolution, that has been changed. But those forces do not stop men from pursuing more sedate and normal young women.