Would paying for sex be wrong?

[Plato]

Yeah it's hard. It's the best I can do for now. Inside I feel many flaws about myself which I try to hide as best I can. I have been defeated sometimes when faking. I admit that. It sucked and came home angry and even sobbed a little. 

It is like a chicken-egg problem. Skills are easier to develop than inner confidence. I think I experience confidence once in a while. 

It's hard to say on whether a person is unworthy or flawed. I think I am flawed and might be unworthy to many people, though hopefully not all. 

One thing I don't do is accept myself for how I am. I literally hate certain aspects of me and will do whatever is necessary to destroy those parts I hate about myself.  

There is no end to me finding ways to better myself. I had a rageful thought on "burning the old me away" and replacing the old with a newer and better human. That might be what prevents me from achieving more consistent confidence. And maybe love or whatever the hell love means. I honestly don't know what that is.

You are who you are nothing change that. Just recognise or Flaws and just work on ourselves they say improvements is forever growing, then you die .

[RedPillOverdose]

Speaking of paying for sex, drug experiences, “working on thyself” til one has acquired resources and a highfalutin position at age 30, and going one’s own way: you know who this works for? Men with options! No one else!

Let’s go down the list. Party-hardy men with a pick of the litter and a robust social life can get away with doing drugs (until and if the grim reaper or health problems grab a whole hold of them) because it is one more high in a series of highs. And when they come down… there is still a woman (or women) there to validate his attractiveness and worthiness as a man. An incel doing drugs? Good luck coming down from a high in your lonely bed on a Sunday morning. He’s one again reminded that he’s all alone.

Paying for sex? Who does this work for in a sense? Men who can get laid by women of their own volition but, like the above example, can go for a cheap thrill once in awhile in a pool of other thrills, one of those being getting laid by a woman who actually wants to bed down with him. I knew some men who attracted many women who would go to whores once in awhile. It was simply a fun night on the town for them with their boys, men who were also of their same sexual market value. It was for shits and giggles, and less “work for the night”. An incel getting laid by a whore? Once again, he has to wake up the next morning, knowing he paid for a woman to have sex with him, all by his lonesome. It’s not a thrill for him; it’s an act of desperation.

A man going his own way (MGTOW). Who does this “work” for? Who have I seen this “work” for? Men with options, the sort of men who can simply go in and out of MGTOW as they please. Such men are wanted by women anyway, and usually have options, see women as objects, and have a cold streak to them. They are likely highly ambitious and high earning in their professions. They have sexual market power. It is easy for them to pull this off, live life on their own terms, and "work towards their goals”, because there are usually women orbiting around them. They aren’t the orbiters! They’re the ones calling the shots in the romantic and sexual dynamic. For them, if a woman doesn’t want to get on board with their 60-plus hour work weeks and dare devil hobbies and partying, then they can scram! See the power of choice (incels have none).

Working on goals. Oh yes, we’ll see just how one feels going from sixteen to 30 without women. Did I mention that lack of women can make men infuriated, perhaps more than anything else. Try dealing with that emotion for about fifteen years or so, and see if goal attainment can counter that, especially when in social scenarios amongst other men with women. For most men, unless they are callous and made of stone or what they're doing is so special (it likely isn't), being lonely will make them a worn out piece of meat by the they're in their 30s. Did I mention when being alone that being alone amongst men with women is one of the shittiest feelings there is? Sorry to break it to everyone. Most men won’t be that darn attractive at 30 with no experience with women, even if they’re engineers or doctors. Attraction to women generally has to be established early in life! Perhaps I’ll log into this site ten years from now, or any other in which incels or socially disgruntled men lurk and see if goal attainment will make up for lack of a woman.

I don’t see this in antagonism to Hans or anyone. Hans seems like a good guy, as is everyone else. This is just my take on it.

[Hans]

Speaking of paying for sex, drug experiences, “working on thyself” til one has acquired resources and a highfalutin position at age 30, and going one’s own way: you know who this works for? Men with options! No one else!

Working on goals. Oh yes, we’ll see just how one feels going from sixteen to 30 without women. Did I mention that lack of women can make men infuriated, perhaps more than anything else. Try dealing with that emotion for about fifteen years or so, and see if goal attainment can counter that, especially when in social scenarios amongst other men with women. For most men, unless they are callous and made of stone or what they're doing is so special (it likely isn't), being lonely will make them a worn out piece of meat by the they're in their 30s. Did I mention when being alone that being alone amongst men with women is one of the shittiest feelings there is? Sorry to break it to everyone. Most men won’t be that darn attractive at 30 with no  experience with women, even if they’re engineers or doctors. Attraction to women generally has to be established early in life! Perhaps I’ll log into this site ten years from now, or any other in which incels or socially disgruntled men lurk and see if goal attainment will make up for lack of a woman.

I don’t see this in antagonism to Hans or anyone. Hans seems like a good guy, as is everyone else. This is just my take on it.

This is not what Hans, the good guy, actually meant.

While working on your life, like getting a good education and/or a good job, trying to look better etc., which can be quite satisfactory by itself to some degree, you should not isolate yourself socially. As I indicated, being socially proficient is a characteristic trait of successful people in basically all domains of society. If you're an introvert, just think how different you would appear to someone if you was as charismatic as let's say David Letterman. And conversely, think how David Letterman would appear if he was shy and insecure. A completely different person.

You cannot become David Letterman of course (and he's just an example of many), but how you appear to other people largely depends on how you can deal with them. And even if you don't believe it when you're a young loner sitting in front of your computer the whole day, this is something you can (and should) tackle.

Now, me myself, I'm still not the king of any party of course, but the way I managed relevant aspects of my life (like my job, my relationship, ...) and the (bad) experiences I made in the past (like having been a nice guy for too long, having had oneitis once, having been too shy, having been too often alone etc.) help me today to survive in most social environments I am thrown into (like job meetings, parties, ...).

I think three things have brought my confidence to a comfortable level. First, I have a good education and a solid income, so I'm not embarrassed when it's "my house, my car, my boat" playing time again. Second, I have a girlfriend. She is decent looking, most likely a 7. Having a girlfriend you're a not ashamed of is fantastic. The reason for that with respect to confidence is, that you automatically become super-relaxed in the presence of other women (no more neediness, no more creepiness). You are not a threat to them anymore. Everything goes easy then. Some even flirt with you. I like that. Besides, women are social beings. So I regularly meet other people (I don't get attached to most of them but I get regular "social training"). And last but not least, I mostly don't care anymore about other people's opinions, girls' included. When I was younger, I often wanted to please them, especially girls (that's insecurity, isn't it). But today, I only take care not to make a dumb move (for instance, in my working environment). Otherwise, whether you like me or not is not of my concern. The fear is gone.

Consider "working on yourself" like (real) natural bodybuilding. You probably won't become a George Clooney or a Brad Pitt as you won't become a Phil Heath, but you will still come across way more attractive than all those guys who do nothing with their lives.