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Weird unmatching
#21
What I am getting is woman are unpredictable.
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#22
(07-16-2021, 07:42 PM)TruthSeeker Wrote: This whole dating game is just a big pointless hole.

And people are just coping via different means and refusing to see it.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter she ghost you or not. Walking on this thin ice is just never-ending fruitless cycle of pursuing something that you'll never catch.

I know this reply is repetitive as weve already dealt with online dating. But i bought one month of premium today, intending to send 30+ special messages to a list of girls ive liked just to be able to say to my brain, after this summer, that i tried what i could. All i need is a single mutual match which i dont expect, but regardless of the outcome the dejection of seeing girl after girl visit your profile but not like it will be worth it in the long run. The hammer blows of the world on you tempers you with the calm solid truth, that you otherwise must keep living in nebulous anxiety of. And the suffering forces you to think and make choices instead of remaining in stagnation, paraphrasing what you posted in an article. Once this premium period is done, i will give a quick conclusion.

[Image: App.jpg]
^ That's what a girl told me today, it means "you are beautiful and tall you can be a model" (i later politely called it off with her, because her body type was not a match and that would be unfair to us both). My barber also told me i should "try being a model" and that her customer before me asked if i was a photo model. Yet, virtually every girl who visits my profile is passing it.

I can only conclude that the problem then is my social status and pictures. Im still a student so dont have a fancy career yet, and my pictures dont display the "travel lover" or "adventurer" keywords, social popularity, tattoos, beard, dogs or a car. I have had a woman vet the pictures i use, but they are only the best of what i have. Have you ever actually run a Chadfish/fake account like Harry did? Will it change once i can put a career on my profile and take the superficial pictures i need?
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#23
(07-19-2021, 12:34 AM)Loverboy Wrote: I know this reply is repetitive as weve already dealt with online dating. But i bought one month of premium today, intending to send 30+ special messages to a list of girls ive liked just to be able to say to my brain, after this summer, that i tried what i could. All i need is a single mutual match which i dont expect, but regardless of the outcome the dejection of seeing girl after girl visit your profile but not like it will be worth it in the long run. The hammer blows of the world on you tempers you with the calm solid truth, that you otherwise must keep living in nebulous anxiety of. And the suffering forces you to think and make choices instead of remaining in stagnation, paraphrasing what you posted in an article. Once this premium period is done, i will give a quick conclusion.

[Image: App.jpg]
^ That's what a girl told me today, it means "you are beautiful and tall you can be a model" (i later politely called it off with her, because her body type was not a match and that would be unfair to us both). My barber also told me i should "try being a model" and that her customer before me asked if i was a photo model. Yet, virtually every girl who visits my profile is passing it.

I can only conclude that the problem then is my social status and pictures. Im still a student so dont have a fancy career yet, and my pictures dont display the "travel lover" or "adventurer" keywords, social popularity, tattoos, beard, dogs or a car. I have had a woman vet the pictures i use, but they are only the best of what i have. Have you ever actually run a Chadfish/fake account like Harry did? Will it change once i can put a career on my profile and take the superficial pictures i need?

Pictures > Career when it comes to online dating

You're obviously handsome. But for online dating, you have to be ultra-mega-handsome to get some use of it because you need high numbers.

Back when I was using OLD, I was primarily on Tinder. One time, I tried Bumble which is an app where the woman has to message the man first or the match disappears. 

I got 7 matches. 6 never messaged me and disappeared. 1 messaged me, we agreed to meet, but she ghosted me. I never tried the app again because I was already tired of online dating. 

Besides, my matches were not enough.

There are many filters which is why you need high numbers.

Here are all the funnels:

1. First, you need matches. 

2. Then, your matches actually have to be responsive.

3. Then, your match has to agree to meet, not just chat.

4. Then, she actually has to come to the date.

5. Then, she has to agree to meet again.

The more matches you have (base), the higher your chances.

Let's say you have 7 matches like me. 6 ignore you. 1 ghosts you. It's too little. 

I would need like 70 matches to get some use of this app. Let's say that 50 ignore me. 10 don't agree to meet me. 5 agree but never follow through and 5 meet me. Out of those 5 some won't like me. And I will be lucky to have a second date with 1-2 girls.
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#24
(07-19-2021, 06:21 AM)TruthSeeker Wrote: Pictures > Career when it comes to online dating

You're obviously handsome. But for online dating, you have to be ultra-mega-handsome to get some use of it because you need high numbers.

Back when I was using OLD, I was primarily on Tinder. One time, I tried Bumble which is an app where the woman has to message the man first or the match disappears. 

I got 7 matches. 6 never messaged me and disappeared. 1 messaged me, we agreed to meet, but she ghosted me. I never tried the app again because I was already tired of online dating. 

Besides, my matches were not enough.

There are many filters which is why you need high numbers.

Here are all the funnels:

1. First, you need matches. 

2. Then, your matches actually have to be responsive.

3. Then, your match has to agree to meet, not just chat.

4. Then, she actually has to come to the date.

5. Then, she has to agree to meet again.

The more matches you have (base), the higher your chances.

Let's say you have 7 matches like me. 6 ignore you. 1 ghosts you. It's too little. 

I would need like 70 matches to get some use of this app. Let's say that 50 ignore me. 10 don't agree to meet me. 5 agree but never follow through and 5 meet me. Out of those 5 some won't like me. And I will be lucky to have a second date with 1-2 girls.
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#25
(07-19-2021, 06:21 AM)TruthSeeker Wrote: Pictures > Career when it comes to online dating

You're obviously handsome. But for online dating, you have to be ultra-mega-handsome to get some use of it because you need high numbers.

Back when I was using OLD, I was primarily on Tinder. One time, I tried Bumble which is an app where the woman has to message the man first or the match disappears. 

I got 7 matches. 6 never messaged me and disappeared. 1 messaged me, we agreed to meet, but she ghosted me. I never tried the app again because I was already tired of online dating. 

Besides, my matches were not enough.

There are many filters which is why you need high numbers.

Here are all the funnels:

1. First, you need matches. 

2. Then, your matches actually have to be responsive.

3. Then, your match has to agree to meet, not just chat.

4. Then, she actually has to come to the date.

5. Then, she has to agree to meet again.

The more matches you have (base), the higher your chances.

Let's say you have 7 matches like me. 6 ignore you. 1 ghosts you. It's too little. 

I would need like 70 matches to get some use of this app. Let's say that 50 ignore me. 10 don't agree to meet me. 5 agree but never follow through and 5 meet me. Out of those 5 some won't like me. And I will be lucky to have a second date with 1-2 girls.

Update: I still have 2 weeks left on my premium, but im gonna call the attempt off and stop trying to send chats to women now. I just came home from barely being able to finish my gym workout. Ironically, what finally lifted my state of depression enough to keep going was to turn the tables and end a chat with a girl myself (after she hinted that it wasnt going to work).

The depressive pain i felt made me acutely recall what you said, which was something like: trying does let you confirm that it doesnt work instead of wondering what could have been, but you cant say that the pain was worth it. I agree. I cant say that the pain was worth it.

All i can say is what i expected, which is a repeated confirmation that OLD does not work - but that still leaves real life cold approaches on the table. It's there that i thought to myself "hope is cruelty" in the gym; the rabbit wheel of trying and trying always continuing, because technically all you need is one win - no matter how many failures and how much pain you accumulate the wheel can always be spinned one more step, and that is also what society would tell you - "just try more".

So the last thing i want to ask you for now is, is there an interaction formula to minimise the mental workload you need to perform with every woman you approach, and get as directly to the decisive "yes/no" steps as possible? without having to pretend like you have more energy than you do, like a windup toy. Just the thought of trying to make conversations with them makes me feel weary. I cant be bothered with the thought of trying to interact with them, like having no battery left... you know? But if you as a man dont do anything, nothing will happen and you will stay in purgatory.
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#26
I am anti-approaching, but at the same time, I've done it and thus I have no regrets because I've unturned that stone too.

So, it may be a bit hypocritical on my side to say don't do it, when I've done it myself.

--------------------

My shortcut for minimizing mental fatigue as you put it is very simple:

BE DIRECT.

Don't open women asking for directions and other questions linked to the surroundings.

Say: "Hi. I like you."

That's it.

You being direct is not going to improve or reduce your chances, but it's going to make you efficient (fast) and it will escalate the situation.

By being direct, you're fast forwarding what will happen anyway. Talking about the weather or the cheese in the supermarket for 20 minutes does not increase your chances at all.

------

I don't approach anymore because it's a huge energy investment that robs me of too much time for nothing.

Approaching, just like OLD has many filters too, namely:

- She has to be receptive (talk to you) - most women will ignore you
- She has to agree to give you her number - most women won't agree to a contact exchange...some may give you a fake number
- She has to respond (Many women will give you their number but won't answer your text. This applies even to women that seem already in love with you.)
- She has to agree to meet.
- She has to come.

...etc.

Approaching is simply highly inefficient unless you're a young, cute man in an environment full of women (e.g., college campus).

In all other cases, your rejection rate will be spectacular. E.g., 500 rejections for a few dates.
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#27
It is really disappointing to hear religious apps are just as bad as regular apps.
I had thought about using them as a last resort since regular OLD is a nightmare.

I guess that leaves approaching, which I've struggled with in the past but produced some results.
Truth is right about the importance of environment when approaching. It's also essential for OLD.
I work remotely in a suburb and basically have very little opportunity to interact with single women
without baggage. Sometimes I get shy and blow the only approach I have all week(or month). When
I use OLD, I match with very few women because they refuse to date someone in the suburbs.

Realizing dating is a numbers game from what we've all discovered, I plan on moving to a yuppy area in
an overpriced city with a large population of single women. That means living below the poverty line by
blowing half my paycheck on rent. If I can't swing it financially I will at least relocate near a decent size
university or medical industry focused area(as opposed to tech). I've met women through friends and hobbies,
but it takes forever and I'm getting older.
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#28
(08-12-2021, 02:52 AM)Greywolf Wrote: It is really disappointing to hear religious apps are just as bad as regular apps.
I had thought about using them as a last resort since regular OLD is a nightmare.

I guess that leaves approaching, which I've struggled with in the past but produced some results.
Truth is right about the importance of environment when approaching. It's also essential for OLD.
I work remotely in a suburb and basically have very little opportunity to interact with single women
without baggage. Sometimes I get shy and blow the only approach I have all week(or month). When
I use OLD, I match with very few women because they refuse to date someone in the suburbs.

Realizing dating is a numbers game from what we've all discovered, I plan on moving to a yuppy area in
an overpriced city with a large population of single women. That means living below the poverty line by
blowing half my paycheck on rent. If I can't swing it financially I will at least relocate near a decent size
university or medical industry focused area(as opposed to tech). I've met women through friends and hobbies,
but it takes forever and I'm getting older.

I have sent out about 30 message prompts in between the two apps im using (salams and muzmatch). Of these, only a few have been accepted - the rest are either rejected, unread, or both. The accepted ones have all runned out in the sand, and they dont even live in my country (since i didnt get any good responses where i live). I also had a nasty exchange recently with one woman.

Personally i wont be approaching, i got turned off the idea weeks ago and am not in the mood for it now either. Good on you for trying it out if you do it.

Well.. good luck mate. I am done trying or believing and will shift my life outlook accordingly. Time to reread The Tale of Riki Violino.
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#29
(08-13-2021, 07:15 AM)Loverboy Wrote: I have sent out about 30 message prompts in between the two apps im using (salams and muzmatch). Of these, only a few have been accepted - the rest are either rejected, unread, or both. The accepted ones have all runned out in the sand, and they dont even live in my country (since i didnt get any good responses where i live). I also had a nasty exchange recently with one woman.

Personally i wont be approaching, i got turned off the idea weeks ago and am not in the mood for it now either. Good on you for trying it out if you do it.

Well.. good luck mate. I am done trying or believing and will shift my life outlook accordingly. Time to reread The Tale of Riki Violino.

Thank you. I will need all the luck I can get, especially considering the moral decay out there. During my past approaches I've embarrassed myself and have been humiliated in front of people, but even that is preferable these deplorable dating apps. I will re read some chapters from a hater's synthesis II  Cool
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#30
(08-15-2021, 03:47 PM)Greywolf Wrote: Thank you. I will need all the luck I can get, especially considering the moral decay out there. During my past approaches I've embarrassed myself and have been humiliated in front of people, but even that is preferable these deplorable dating apps. I will re read some chapters from a hater's synthesis II  Cool

Let us know how it goes mate, i am looking forward to hearing about a few approaches even.
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