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How you are supposed to meet women
#1
I am standing here and wondering what to do next.

What is the culture's prescription for how you are supposed to meet women, in a setting where women themselves want to do the same thing and they do not find it weird, tiresome, invasive, or sexually harassive?

Am I supposed to approach women on the street or gym? (I have only done this minimally without any success, is this what I am supposed to start?)
Am I supposed to approach women in bars and clubs? (they tell you to do the things you already enjoy anyway, but I dislike bars and clubs, am I supposed to start going there anyway?)
Am I supposed to match women in online dating? (this has been my main attempted method, but it has not worked - is it because I need to get professional pictures and/or start paying for the services?)
Am I supposed to attract women through some kind of apex antisocial media presence? (I do not have such a presence)
Am I supposed to meet women who are already acquaintances of my acquaintances? (I do not have any acquaintance group)
Am I supposed to meet women through hobby groups? (my hobbies don't contain women)
Am I supposed to meet women who work or study with me? (I would have to wait until the university campus starts in early september, assuming the women still choose the school's campus option instead of adjusted online option due to corona)

Or are you supposed to not try to meet women and simply leave any development or lack thereof completely to chance?

What am I supposed to do? What personal attributes do I need to do "that", and how should I methodically accomplish "it"?
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#2
Brett, you raise some points and I'll coalesce it into the main ones.

- I have cause to believe that I'm quite handsome from what I've experienced and been told, but not to the extent that I can use online dating successfully or be a male model whose face alone makes panties wet. The very few women I can actually match with online are so far less attractive than the women I was used to flirting with while growing up without online dating that I would rather be celibate than be with them. My sister once joked that one of the most beautiful girls in our school wanted me, one of the girls I've been with said to herself that I didn't know how good looking I was, I've had a girl pass by me at a job and literally exclaim how hot I was in front of her school class, but now online the only women I can match with I would never have looked at in real life.

- I guess that by sexual "purity" you mean the absence of lust, meaning the absence of sin. I am fine with being celibate at this point since the choice is between that and women who I'm not even attracted to, and who are broken on top of that. And until recently I was indeed celibate for years, and with only a very spotty record of sex before that. I've had sex with 6 women but four were one night stands, two were only for a few months, none of them were out of love, and only one of them (a one night stand) I was actually attracted to.

- I would ultimately like to meet a woman who is substance-free, child-free, low in narcissism, not too broken, has a basic amount of intellectual curiosity enough for me to at least mention words like "philosophy" or "art styles" without immediately losing her engagement, and is no beauty queen but simply my type physically.

- Rarely I will notice women checking me out, but as good as always, as soon as I look back in their direction they do their very best to pretend like I was never there. And the overwhelming majority of women I see are simply stonefaced. I also have some experience with, as Truth points out and has a rich experience with himself, women sending signals out without actually wanting you.
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#3
The only woman that I really liked was the result of cold approach. (The actress from a Desert in the Sky).

We had the perfect date. After she rejected me in a nasty way, it broke me forever. I would have married that woman on the spot. It's been over a year since. And looking back, I still stand by my feelings. I really liked her on a deep level.

I checked her Facebook a while back. She's still alone and the look on her face is empty. Even I with all my rejections cannot produce that look. She really just looks empty. And it's not because of me. It's because of all the opportunities she'd missed. It's the regret that's torturing her.

As far as dating apps – I am banned from Tinder for deleting and remaking my account. I never used other dating apps for long.

Don't regret it. Every single woman I've ever met on Tinder has been a disaster.

Hobbies? I don't really have hobbies where there are women.

Work? I spent 10 years working with women. Met only 1 girl, but she was actually from Canada and left after one summer. She liked me, though. For what it's worth.

Honestly, I don't have an answer. I don't know where the unicorns are.
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#4
(07-24-2020, 01:35 PM)TruthSeeker Wrote: Honestly, I don't have an answer.

Yet another summer with the same problem, not meeting any women.

I would never admit it to a woman since it would dry them up like the Aral sea, but living like this feels pointless. I cant focus properly on my studies. What's the point of staying alive and grinding out your life for days and years when you have to live without intimacy? experiencing no touch with a woman, forgetting what it even feels like from the few short spots of your life that youve felt it. All you see are thirst traps online, and stonefaces offline, but since you fear bothering women you dont look much at them anyway. Youre theoretically surrounded by thousands of women, but still utterly isolated.

I dont want to live like this shit... i want to change it. I am already done with online dating. But i dont see how cold approaching could possibly work... youll be bothering them inappropriately, doing something "weird" which is not part of the culture, have to work out things to say and do that somehow enable a stranger to feel instant attraction for you and dont make the encounter a cringe, and even after that there is an abysmal success rate.

The only relief i have right now is Schopenhauer's explanation of this life and planet like a penal colony or penitentiary..
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#5
If you don't have an acquaintance group it wouldn't hurt to try to expand your social circle. Yes, there are no guarantees, but meeting women socially is better than via online dating or cold approaching.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm also in the same boat. It helps to not focus on women too much and just get on with your life. A relationship is nice, but you shouldn't base your happiness around getting into one.
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#6
(07-24-2020, 07:07 AM)Loverboy Wrote: I am standing here and wondering what to do next.

What is the culture's prescription for how you are supposed to meet women, in a setting where women themselves want to do the same thing and they do not find it weird, tiresome, invasive, or sexually harassive?

Am I supposed to approach women on the street or gym? (I have only done this minimally without any success, is this what I am supposed to start?)
Am I supposed to approach women in bars and clubs? (they tell you to do the things you already enjoy anyway, but I dislike bars and clubs, am I supposed to start going there anyway?)
Am I supposed to match women in online dating? (this has been my main attempted method, but it has not worked - is it because I need to get professional pictures and/or start paying for the services?)
Am I supposed to attract women through some kind of apex antisocial media presence? (I do not have such a presence)
Am I supposed to meet women who are already acquaintances of my acquaintances? (I do not have any acquaintance group)
Am I supposed to meet women through hobby groups? (my hobbies don't contain women)
Am I supposed to meet women who work or study with me? (I would have to wait until the university campus starts in early september, assuming the women still choose the school's campus option instead of adjusted online option due to corona)

Or are you supposed to not try to meet women and simply leave any development or lack thereof completely to chance?

What am I supposed to do? What personal attributes do I need to do "that", and how should I methodically accomplish "it"?
You decide, not society, not a women. YOU.
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