Finding someone offline

[Plato]

So online dating  clearly sucks. So what are some other better ways to meet women and people in general . I can’t thing of any. As in most people just live online now. Ironically I met all my friends online our by mistake. 


What you say guys got any ideas? 

[Jonesy]

I've been wondering about this. When I met my ex, about ten years ago, we got talking on facebook chat. Now, I don't have a facebook and refuse to make a new one after deleting it.

I would say, you need to either meet someone at work, in a bar, or at a hobby. Work is awkward because if the date goes to shit or she says no, it i9s going to be extremely awkward working with someone after that. Pubs and bars can work, but you have to "chat up" a girl. This is generally considered creepy amongst the female community and even if she likes you she will probably be embarrassed in front of her friends. Also, you know nothing about the girl and she knows nothing about you. That said, alcohol usually makes things easier when attempting this tactic. The hobby is the best idea in my opinion. You aren't forced to go to see her every day if it goes wrong and you both have the same interest already so you can get the idea if she's into you. The problem here is that men and women usually have different hobbies. Even at a gym that caters for men and women, you will probably doing different stuff. It's not like you can ask her to spot you in the squat rack. She will probably on the treadmill with earphones in listening to her ipod for 45 minutes before stretching and going home to watch x-factor and browse facebook.


Online seems to be where society wants us now. Everything is just so set up for online interaction over face to face. Asking a girl for her phone number is seen as an ancient form of courting these days. It's all about creating an acceptable online profile to lure the bitches in now. That said, I got really ripped once when I was training at my best and I posted pics of myself topless on facebook (black and white for maximum effect) and I cringe when I think back to that. I am literally cringing as I type this it is so embarrassing for me now. The attention I got for sluts paled compared to the utter fool I made of myself amongst people who knew me. The reason is my personality in real life contrasted heavily with me trying to be a poser online. The worst of it is that I was married then too. I was just trying to show off.

[Plato]

Well online not working for me. My hobbies are gym . Anime,reading mathematics , philosophy and psychology . I am thinking going to art meet up maybe I’ll meet cute girl there your some friends. Work does no good for me beacuse my work place is not we’re women go . I don’t even class gym as hobby any more . Staying inside clicking on tinder seems like waste. To find real relationships. Tinder is just sex dating app now . Physical attraction wise I can’t improve everything else is just my bone structure and personality.

[Jonesy]

It's a difficult one. Art meet sounds like a good idea or any sort of course like open university or college courses maybe. I dunno, I'm just guessing.

Personally though, I tend to have the least success when I actively try. I'm not saying you shouldn't try but for me I think I come across as more unattractive when I'm actively trying to impress or chat up a girl.

[Plato]

It's a difficult one. Art meet sounds like a good idea or any sort of course like open university or college courses maybe. I dunno, I'm just guessing.

Personally though, I tend to have the least success when I actively try. I'm not saying you shouldn't try but for me I think I come across as more unattractive when I'm actively trying to impress or chat up a girl.

ah If I was at university you’re  college I’ll definitely have girlfriend. Just need to try go out more because not going find one online. Tbh my last relationship online was actually worse girlfriend I ever hade.

[TruthSeeker]

I have been asking myself the same. 

My experience has resulted in the following conclusions:

1. The girls you communicate with online are uglier than you 99% of the time.

Women online are dating up. Men online are dating down. This is why the women who are as attractive as you often ignore you in the Cyber space.

Online dating creates a free market. You are competing with everyone in the radius. That's a lot of men. She will always try to secure the highest value target.

I know a few couples that have formed as a result of Tinder. In all cases, the men offer more than the women. 

2. Offline you will meat the most attractive women.

All dates that I have had through offline interactions have been with women that would not even talk to me online. Actually, I have never had a date with an "offline" woman I don't like physically. They were not models or something, but decent enough for me.

3. Work can work but...

As you say already, dating at work is tricky. If things don't work out, you are in trouble.

This is true, but it really depends on the person. I would have agreed 5 years ago, but today, I have a pretty thick skin for this stuff. An endless stream of rejections thickens you.

If a woman is available at your work place and you like her, the best thing to do is to ask her directly. Unless there are some weird HR practices, the consequences would not be as dramatic as you think.

But you need to have thick skin and be prepared for a rejection or at least a form of ignore.

The problem with "work game" is that you may quickly run out of girls. Let's say you work with 8 girls. Some of them will be taken; others won't like you...etc.

4. Hobbies?

Never tried that one. Never shared a hobby that gives me exposure to women. But it could work. The problem is once again that you will quickly run out of girls. 

5. Approaching

I have had dates from approaching, but the rejection rate is absolutely insane. You may approach 100 women and get nothing out of it.

The Best Case Scenario

In the best case, you would be working some sort of job that gives you exposure to women. E.g., personal trainer 

However, even in that situation there are no guarantees.

[Jonesy]

Going to the pub on your own where there are fit bar maids can work. It may feel weird at first, but who cares. If you go with a friend you sit at a table and talk to him. On your own you sit at the bar and it forces you to strike up a conversation with people. If it goes to shit (say you drink too much, come on too strong and get called a creep) all you need to do is slink off into the night and try another venue.


Getting too drunk is when this has ended poorly for me in the past though. I've gone to the pub, got a girl's number while sober(ish) and then proceeded to get rat-arsed and fuck it up with drunken idiocy that just wasn't attractive. Not probably would have worked out anyway, but drunkenness is rarely attractive and it's easy to occur for most people, especially if a bit nervous.


I agree, maybe rejections at work might not be that dramatic. They shouldn't be anyway, and like you say you need thick skin when it comes to this.

[Jonesy]

I think that's important to remember. Things happen in unexpected ways and through unexpected people and circumstances. Something like that would never happen in the pre-scripted world of social media and tinder.

[TruthSeeker]

I don't go to bars. It's a waste of time and a scam.

[Jonesy]

In what ways a scam?