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The year was pretty sad for me.
#11
(12-27-2019, 10:15 AM)khrazz Wrote: if feel like the coming year (2020) you should make a priority to work on yourself, possibly with a therapist.  Talking to a specialist, might give you the solution to your issues. In my opinion, the only way to escape this vortex of constant failure, is to take  drastic steps of (personal) change . For example, giving yourself a new haircut, buying new clothes are all part of this, but not the end of itself.

One thing is for certain though, if you keep having this mindset, you will have a really hard time meeting women. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who makes them feel bad. The women you meet already have their problems to bear, they dont want yet another problem to deal with. You should learn to play with the emotions and make them feel good/special (in a sincere way) , even if in the end you dont end up hanging out together in the long term. This will give you a huge ego boost.

This has nothing to do with how you look btw. Even if you do not have Brad pitt genetics, you can still make yourself look good AND clean. Sure, some women are shallow and dont bother dating someone "below" their league, but those are fewer than you might thing, and usually have so many personal issues that you dont wanna deal with them anyway. Just like bodybuilding, not everyone has genetics to looking good 24/7, which is why when you ask people to grade your looks, the most probable number you will be given is 7. 7 is the number of "average genetics". Is that bad? No. A 7, can easily become a 9 or even 10, if you are willing to spend some time grooming yourself or getting proper haircuts, coupled with clothes that fit YOUR style, body composition etc.

Hang in there brother. And please take into consideration the first advice i gave you. Go to a therapist. These people are educated to guide you through all these issues.

lol, this post reads like a satire of naive coping.
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#12
(12-27-2019, 06:58 PM)TruthSeeker Wrote: 1. I will not see a therapist because they are useless. My mind is perfectly sound. The actual problem is not me. It's the modern female. They have insane requirements and zero accountability. 

As I already told you, I have zero interest in "mind hacking" myself. My present intelligence is sufficient. My mindset is reasonable.

2. The most important requirements to attracting a woman are: a) looks, b)money. Therapists help with neither.

3. Why do you imply that I make women feel bad? I have a great sense of humor and have made most of them laugh continuously. 

4. Why do you presume that I don't have a good haircut and "groom myself already"?

5. You don't become "Brad Pitt" with haircuts. You become him with genes. I already have new clothes. I changed my wardrobe 3 years ago.

6. A 7 cannot become a 9. Only a 9 that has let themselves fall to 7 could.

8. Thank you for taking the time to write me. I appreciate it.

I do not suggest your mind is not sane. All i am trying to say, is that there must be a way of you learning what goes wrong during those dates , which is why i suggested you talking to a therapist in the first place, because only a therapist can give you an unbiased opinion. Dont wanna spend money on a therapist? Find a good friend to talk to - its almost the same, however your friend might give you biased opinion, because its your friend and might not want to make you feel bad.

Sure, you are fun, and your writing style shows that -  but theres gotta be a missing piece of puzzle as to why they treat you this way. I cant talk to you personally so we can have a more indepth conversation, which is why i gave those generic pieces of advice - i never implied you do not take care of yourself, or that you are ugly or whatever. This is an internet forum so we are limited to generic / classic advice.

You know, i feel like we are very alike mindset wise. The words to type both in this forum or in your articles, are like me typing them myself (not 100%, but close to it), and i have been in your place with women, and i used to think those exact words . I was plagued with thoughts that something was wrong with me and thats why women did not bother with me - turns out, it was just my mind playing bullshit tricks on me. When i changed my feelsbad attitude to fuck you attitude, i stopped bothering whether a particular woman rejected me or not.My problem, was that i was emotionally investing  in a person that did not have the same approach. When you emotionally invest, and that investment gets blown off, you feel bad (at least i did). Not because you lose that X woman, but because you lost your time invested in that person

Does that make me an expert with women? Hell no. Which is why i take a very conservative approach to the suggestions i am trying to give

p.s I could totally be wrong with the suggestions i give. I am not perfect . All im trying to do is use my experience/knowledge the best i can to help you or anyone else reading.  Smile I am open to discuss if you feel i am wrong , cause i always try to keep an open mind and i dont care to win/lose an argument. If i am wrong, i am wrong, if im right, im right thats my motto Big Grin
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#13
(12-27-2019, 07:50 AM)TruthSeeker Wrote: Congratulations on your recovery.

Thank you also well done on the book.

(12-27-2019, 10:15 AM)khrazz Wrote: if feel like the coming year (2020) you should make a priority to work on yourself, possibly with a therapist.  Talking to a specialist, might give you the solution to your issues. In my opinion, the only way to escape this vortex of constant failure, is to take  drastic steps of (personal) change . For example, giving yourself a new haircut, buying new clothes are all part of this, but not the end of itself.

One thing is for certain though, if you keep having this mindset, you will have a really hard time meeting women. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who makes them feel bad. The women you meet already have their problems to bear, they dont want yet another problem to deal with. You should learn to play with the emotions and make them feel good/special (in a sincere way) , even if in the end you dont end up hanging out together in the long term. This will give you a huge ego boost.

This has nothing to do with how you look btw. Even if you do not have Brad pitt genetics, you can still make yourself look good AND clean. Sure, some women are shallow and dont bother dating someone "below" their league, but those are fewer than you might thing, and usually have so many personal issues that you dont wanna deal with them anyway. Just like bodybuilding, not everyone has genetics to looking good 24/7, which is why when you ask people to grade your looks, the most probable number you will be given is 7. 7 is the number of "average genetics". Is that bad? No. A 7, can easily become a 9 or even 10, if you are willing to spend some time grooming yourself or getting proper haircuts, coupled with clothes that fit YOUR style, body composition etc.

Hang in there brother. And please take into consideration the first advice i gave you. Go to a therapist. These people are educated to guide you through all these issues.

7/10 is not average math's tell you that
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#14
(12-27-2019, 08:52 PM)khrazz Wrote: I do not suggest your mind is not sane. All i am trying to say, is that there must be a way of you learning what goes wrong during those dates , which is why i suggested you talking to a therapist in the first place, because only a therapist can give you an unbiased opinion. Dont wanna spend money on a therapist? Find a good friend to talk to - its almost the same, however your friend might give you biased opinion, because its your friend and might not want to make you feel bad.

Sure, you are fun, and your writing style shows that -  but theres gotta be a missing piece of puzzle as to why they treat you this way. I cant talk to you personally so we can have a more indepth conversation, which is why i gave those generic pieces of advice - i never implied you do not take care of yourself, or that you are ugly or whatever. This is an internet forum so we are limited to generic / classic advice.

You know, i feel like we are very alike mindset wise. The words to type both in this forum or in your articles, are like me typing them myself (not 100%, but close to it), and i have been in your place with women, and i used to think those exact words . I was plagued with thoughts that something was wrong with me and thats why women did not bother with me - turns out, it was just my mind playing bullshit tricks on me. When i changed my feelsbad attitude to fuck you attitude, i stopped bothering whether a particular woman rejected me or not.My problem, was that i was emotionally investing  in a person that did not have the same approach. When you emotionally invest, and that investment gets blown off, you feel bad (at least i did). Not because you lose that X woman, but because you lost your time invested in that person

Does that make me an expert with women? Hell no. Which is why i take a very conservative approach to the suggestions i am trying to give

p.s I could totally be wrong with the suggestions i give. I am not perfect . All im trying to do is use my experience/knowledge the best i can to help you or anyone else reading.  Smile I am open to discuss if you feel i am wrong , cause i always try to keep an open mind and i dont care to win/lose an argument. If i am wrong, i am wrong, if im right, im right thats my motto Big Grin

I understand. Thank you for your advice.
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#15
Ι, personally, feel dead..after 7 years blind texting with a female (?). This situation was killing me for 7 years. I will never recover.
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#16
(12-31-2019, 06:02 PM)Screamager Wrote: Ι, personally, feel dead..after 7 years blind texting with a female (?). This situation was killing me for 7 years. I will never recover.

She was playing you for 7 years. 

I assume you stayed in touch with her for 7 years because you invented a fantasy in your brain of what she was to you. You might of even pictured her and you together over the years.

Thats a mistake. If you don't want to spend another 7 years texting one girl then do this:

Never text to create conversation anymore.

Ask her out immediately, even if its the first thing you say over text. "Hey it was nice to meet you last night, lets meet for coffee tomorrow. Let me know?"

If she starts making excuses but keeps a small shred of hope. Drop her. 
Only if she suggests another day, like you say tuesday and she says that can't work but suggest wednesday, then thats fine. If she suggests next month because of studies or something, drop her.

If she ignores your message. Drop her.

If she takes more than 1 day to respond. Drop her.

If she says yes, then don't text her anymore. Just say "cool see you there, how does 13:00 sound?"

Then you go on a very cheap simple date and see who she really is and she cant hide behind a screen. 

Half a hour before the date you text her to ask her if you still on for the date. If she doesn't show up and doesnt text. Drop her. Don't message her asking why, just drop her.

The process is the same even if you got her number from social media.


There is a simple 'trick' you can do help eliminate flakes. Since you will always schedule a date thats close to you rather than her, you can text her 15 minutes before the date and say you are going to be running 20 minutes late. If she doesnt respond, she is probably not coming. If she does it means shes probably coming. Not a perfect system but it does help.

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#17
(01-01-2020, 09:09 AM)Brett Wrote: She was playing you for 7 years. 

I assume you stayed in touch with her for 7 years because you invented a fantasy in your brain of what she was to you. You might of even pictured her and you together over the years.

Thats a mistake. If you don't want to spend another 7 years texting one girl then do this:

Never text to create conversation anymore.

Ask her out immediately, even if its the first thing you say over text. "Hey it was nice to meet you last night, lets meet for coffee tomorrow. Let me know?"

If she starts making excuses but keeps a small shred of hope. Drop her. 
Only if she suggests another day, like you say tuesday and she says that can't work but suggest wednesday, then thats fine. If she suggests next month because of studies or something, drop her.

If she ignores your message. Drop her.

If she takes more than 1 day to respond. Drop her.

If she says yes, then don't text her anymore. Just say "cool see you there, how does 13:00 sound?"

Then you go on a very cheap simple date and see who she really is and she cant hide behind a screen. 

Half a hour before the date you text her to ask her if you still on for the date. If she doesn't show up and doesnt text. Drop her. Don't message her asking why, just drop her.

The process is the same even if you got her number from social media.


There is a simple 'trick' you can do help eliminate flakes. Since you will always schedule a date thats close to you rather than her, you can text her 15 minutes before the date and say you are going to be running 20 minutes late. If she doesnt respond, she is probably not coming. If she does it means shes probably coming. Not a perfect system but it does help.
Thank you, man. 

For seven consecutive years, she has consistently shown excuses / postponements such as "my relative died unexpectedly", "my mother broke her left hand", "my mother broke her right hand", "I got sick, I have a high fever "," I got sick from herpes zoster "," I am in the hospital "," my father was watering in the backyard of the house and stumbled on the watering hose and inflicted hip fracture ". All the postponement excuses came to the surface a few hours / days before our "scheduled" appointments.
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#18
Here's an old story:

1. I met a woman online. Offered her to meet.
2. She said she had exams so I should wait for 2-3 weeks (don't remember)
3. 10 days later, saw her on a date with a more attractive man.

You gotta understand brah that women always look for more. Do not expect loyalty from them – especially in the early stages. You won't get any.

Texting with a woman longer than a month when your goal is a date is pointless. And even a month is too much. Nobody is that "busy".

In general, your six sense is right most of time. If it's telling you that she is not interested, she probably isn't.
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#19
If you live in the same city (otherwise it is worthless) 7 days in maximum. Insist on the date at at the same day.
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#20
my lover call me even when she ill.
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