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What Women Really Mean When They Say: "I am just finding myself."
#1
The statement "I am just finding myself." often finds itself in the mouth of a woman rationalizing things. 

Women use it as a way to explain their actions and soften the impact. 

Translated, the term says the following:

"I have so many options that I don't know what to choose. I am brainwashed to believe that I deserve the best and only the best. I don't know why. I just do. I will do whatever I want. If a form of responsibility or a difficulty comes, I will just try to find myself at another place, hopefully an easier one."

In short, finding myself means playing around without doing anything serious. The process also comes with a good form of pleasure seeking and of course - traveling - women's favorite hobby. 

Before you know it, she hits the late 20s or maybe even early 30s. She is single...maybe she has a dog. Guess, what? She still hasn't found herself. What is she looking for? What does it really mean to find yourself? That's a story for another post. 

What does she do? She fires up a dating app like Tinder and starts looking for herself there.

I met a woman like that. She had turned 30 a few months ago. She had just quit her tedious job. She was also fresh out of a 3-year relationship including cohabitation with a man.

How do I know all of that?

I had a Tinder date with her. She slipped during the conversation and basically told me that she has had sex with two different men in the span of 10-14 days (both from Tinder).

"I have no regrets," she added.

Eventually, I asked her - "what are you plans for the future?" It was a logical question since she seemed at a crossroad - no job, new decade in her life, single...etc. She said - "I need to find myself."

This happened almost 2 years ago. I bet she is still looking.

Smile
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#2
(12-06-2018, 03:21 PM)TruthSeeker Wrote: The statement "I am just finding myself." often finds itself in the mouth of a woman rationalizing things. 

Women use it as a way to explain their actions and soften the impact. 

Translated, the term says the following:

"I have so many options that I don't know what to choose. I am brainwashed to believe that I deserve the best and only the best. I don't know why. I just do. I will do whatever I want. If a form of responsibility or a difficulty comes, I will just try to find myself at another place, hopefully an easier one."

In short, finding myself means playing around without doing anything serious. The process also comes with a good form of pleasure seeking and of course - traveling - women's favorite hobby. 

Before you know it, she hits the late 20s or maybe even early 30s. She is single...maybe she has a dog. Guess, what? She still hasn't found herself. What is she looking for? What does it really mean to find yourself? That's a story for another post. 

What does she do? She fires up a dating app like Tinder and starts looking for herself there.

I met a woman like that. She had turned 30 a few months ago. She had just quit her tedious job. She was also fresh out of a 3-year relationship including cohabitation with a man.

How do I know all of that?

I had a Tinder date with her. She slipped during the conversation and basically told me that she has had sex with two different men in the span of 10-14 days (both from Tinder).

"I have no regrets," she added.

Eventually, I asked her - "what are you plans for the future?" It was a logical question since she seemed at a crossroad - no job, new decade in her life, single...etc. She said - "I need to find myself."

This happened almost 2 years ago. I bet she is still looking.

Smile

You don't find yourself, you create yourself through choices, mistakes and regrets.

People who say they have no regrets...are just too scared to face their regrets and their insufficiencies.

Its impossible to live without regret, because its impossible to live without making mistakes. If you make a mistake your natural reaction is to regret the mistake, otherwise you would just repeat and repeat it, hence never truly growing emotionally.  

Regret builds character. Of course I am not talking about obsessing over regret. I am talking about accepting it as a way of life and a way of growing.
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#3
I guess the reverse feminist answer would be - I am searching for what I should create. Ironically, what they are creating is a monster.

I agree with you about regret. I have regrets because I have done many mistakes, most of them stupid and avoidable, that have led to poor results and performance.
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#4
(12-07-2018, 06:48 AM)TruthSeeker Wrote: I guess the reverse feminist answer would be - I am searching for what I should create. Ironically, what they are creating is a monster.

I agree with you about regret. I have regrets because I have done many mistakes, most of them stupid and avoidable, that have led to poor results and performance.

Bro don't get me started on regrets Smile

I have learnt to live with my choices and try to take some good out of my mistakes, that is all we can do.

Its one of the reasons I still lift. At least I will never regret not putting my all into my physique.
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#5
This 'finding myself' stuff comes to an abrupt end when she gets pregnant. Most women get up the duff by thirty.

Men have more freedom there. We aren't changed fundamentally by having kids. As soon as she's pregnant it all changes for her though.

As soon as women have kids their main consideration when dating is how suitable the man is as a father to her kid.
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